Monday, August 4, 2014

The Dom's Load & the sub's Release

i've been in chastity for about a week now and i finally blew it.

Before i did, i took one more load, getting myself to 40 and then i came home and jerked off with the leaking cum of His Load and some hypnosis... but details...

i found the SIR off Scruff. He seemed actually a pretty nice guy and so, i figured i would take the device off... but, just for His sake, i asked Him. Told Him, i was in chastity and if He's into that sort of thing. He loved the idea, so i kept it on.

i meet Him late night Saturday and as soon as i entered His apartment, i was told to strip. The nice guy demeanor from His Scruff profile wasn't here. He was much more Dom than i had thought... and i was excited. He was older than me, in his late 30s and He had a pleasant face. He had me kneel at the front door as He took my clothes, phone, keys, into another room.

When He returned, He walked up to me and had me suck His Cock. When He pulled it out, it was a little smaller than the photos suggested but He soon got a lot harder as i sucked, licked, and worshipped His Cock. He pulled back and told me to stare at His Cock. i did.

He then spit on my face before shoving His Cock back into my mouth. "i want you to gag on it, faggot." i tried not too, but it was too much and He was being pretty rough. It wasn't long before i actually threw up a little in my mouth. i quickly swallowed it back. He pulled out. "Don't fucking swallow faggot, let it spill out your mouth. When i cum, let it spill out of You." 

He fucked me again, and i gagged in short order. The little vomit burn in my throat. He kept fucking my face and i let the spit and stomach fluid bubble up onto my chest. It was gross and fucking HOT. He praised me and kept making me gag. i was getting wet as fuck. "Rub it into your body, don't get it on the floor." 

This Dom was SICK and fucked up and my twig was hard as fucking rock in my cage. He then pulled out again, spit hanging from my wet lips to the tip of His Cock. "Stare at it." i did. i wanted nothing more than to have this Cock again.

He walked away and told me to follow. i got up on my feet and He quickly turned. "Faggot's crawl. No one said you can walk." i understood my place. 

i crawled after Him, my twig raging. 

We went into the bathroom, and i figured i was going to take His piss here. He didn't mention anything about water sports in his profile. In fact, it said He liked to be a little aggressive and dirty, but it was all very vague and... friendly. 

This was not.

He had a nice clean bathroom and a walk in shower. Nothing huge. He asked me to put my hands behind back and then He began to piss over my entire body, "mouth open" - i drank some, i took some but mostly it seemed He was washing the spittle i had thrown up from being gagged.

After He finished, He let me sit there now a little cold, dripping wet and feeling vunerable. He turned on the water, keeping me away from the cold and once it was warmer He took off His clothes. He had a decent body, with moderate hair. i was allowed to stand but was made to keep my hands behind my back. He washed my body. i felt like an object here. It was erotic, hot, and sensual - yet cold and disconnected. There wasn't love or affection, it was clinical. 

After He finished, He guided me out the shower and dried me, hands over my head. 

He then brought me into a very clean bedroom, which i didn't know whether or not it was His bedroom or not. It was so sterile. i imagined this could be the place where i lived, if i became His live in. He stood by the bed and had me on all fours. 

"Suck me slow. Worship my Cock." i did. i was patient and soft. Massaging His head and shaft with my tongue, His balls. Around the Cock. During this, He reached over and felt my hole, which was aching for Cock. 

He had me turn around and, while still being on hands and knees, keep my legs together. He pulled the chastity device between my legs. He then got Himself propped up on the bed and started to fuck me. Raw, spit only. 

He was gentle. He must have liked it because He moaned with great pleasure. He held my body tight and fucked me harder and harder. And then - He blew His load. 

"Push it out, faggot." i did. As it leaked out my hole, He scooped it with His fingers and fed it to me. i ate it up hungrily. 

He stood up and told me to wait. 

After a moment, Cum still dripping from my hole, i heard Him return but dared not turn around. He threw my clothes onto the bed and told me to leave. "Do not clean yourself until You're out of my house. Just dress and leave."

He then left into another room. 

i quickly dressed and left.

When i got home, i couldn't wait any longer. i unlocked my cage and started to jerk off to His scene. i used the wetness left in my hole as lube, as well as massaged with some vaseline. i decided to make the scene more intense with some hypnosis videos i created of just Raw Breeding and my voice heavily modified repeating dark, deviant phrases over and over again. 

i came and fell asleep with my sticky hand attached to my shrinking, little twig. 

A good night.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

7 Selfish Loads

it's been a very long time since i've been the center of attention in a group setting. i've played at Slammer and one on one, but a small gathering of Tops to serve is always hot and by circumstances unforeseen, it happened.

i visited a Top i had played with before and i told Him casually in a text that if He knew when His buddy was available to play as well? Within a few minutes, He told me that His buddy was available and that i could service two. i was excited.

i wanted Him to also know that He had 100% permission to invite whomever over. That He never had to get "permission" from me. That i got off on finding out that i would be serving more Cock than i thought. Coming into a house, thinking it's just going to be a quick one on one and then finding out there are more... hot.

When i got there, it wasn't just one buddy but three others that were there, making the Cocks i was serving Four. One guy didn't want to fuck, but just watch and bust His Load onto my ass. i got in and immediately began to suck off two Guys, the Host and His buddy. It wasn't long before i was being spit roasted, fucked and sucking. The guy who just wanted to jerk off did take a little sucking from me and soon, i was turned over, on all fours on the bed and shared between two guys. Both of whom busted their loads pretty quick. The third guy busted His load over my butt and one of the others smeared it and pressed it into my hole. Within about ten minutes of arriving at this house, i had three loads inside me.

The fourth guy showed up pretty quickly and was a HUGE black guy. He, unfortunately, just wanted to get sucked off and the other guy started to fuck Him. my view was under His crotch, so as i sucked Him off i could watch as this pretty thick Cock fucked the black guy. The one who just jerked off left and i watched as the black guy continued to take Cock from this other guy. It wasn't long before the Black Guy blew His Load down my throat. The host and the other Top ended up finishing a 2nd Load in my hole each and after they left, i got a third Load from the Host... leaving me with 5 loads in my hole, one swallowed and another across my body. 

i felt sticky and hungry and happy. 

i laid with the host for probably an hour or so, as we snuggled. Eventually, i showered and left - a very unexpected (quick) gang bang.

Sunday, July 20, 2014

Friday Night Gang Fuck

Friday night was great! So great that i woke up on Saturday completely exhausted and my hole was sore. i could barely sit and when i tried to stand up it was actually kind of difficult. i'm feeling much better today and the memories of it are pretty hot.

i got there around 10 pm and the place was in that middle crowd between busy and slow. There were plenty of Cocks needing service. i started at the blow job alley and got an uncut medium Cock right off the bat. i sucked Him off for a while and let down my shorts. Anonymous Men would stop and feel my ass, finger fuck me a second as i served the Cock. Eventually, the uncut Cock left and i was immediately presented with another larger Cock. i sucked it off with vigor. He was more aggressive and held my head, pounding the back of my throat and it became difficult to concentrate as a stranger came behind him and started to rub His Cock against my hole. He didn't fuck me here but was nice to be used on both ends.

When the 2nd Cock left, a 3rd immediately came over. He was smaller than the first two but just as aggressive. It was then that the Cock that was just teasing my hole slipped in and i immediately was being stuffed on both ends. 

The smaller Cock didn't take long before He was ready to blow and i swallowed my first load. He left and let me focus on the medium Cock fucking my hole. i was bent over now and since i had stopped sucking the guy fucking me insisted we get a room.

In the room, i got fully undressed and at this point was pretty horned up. i took His Cock hungrily and eventually He blew His load inside me. i thanked Him and He told me what a sweet ass i had. i dressed and moved on through the club.

The Dark Room was SUPER busy, hard to get in. i pushed my way through the crowd, getting to a back wall, all the while my twig and ass being fondled. Eventually, i turned my back to the wall and crouched down to Cock level and within seconds got a Cock in my mouth. i sucked it off for a few before rising to let Him fuck me. He did. He was rough but small and kept slipping out. After He stopped another guy came into me. At this point, i was led over to the fuck bench, where i was lined up with two other bottoms. Here i took four Cocks in a row. It was great.

THIS is the feeling i love most. One after the other, each new Cock making me feel more and more objectified. Each Cock giving me less and less of a say. Out of the four Cocks, only one of them actually blew His load inside me. i had to leave the room to grab some water.

i walked around a bit and decided to do the glory holes again. These can be pretty miss since most guys at the glory holes are subs. i didn't want to get sucked off again, as i wanted to focus my energies on Cock service. Eventually i did however take a Cock. Sucking Him through the hole, He finished without cumming.

i walked around some more and decided to wait outside a sling room. A big muscle Sir came over and walked up to me, reaching his hand out to my crotch. i had my shorts down to present my hole as i wanted to make sure He knew... and He did.

It's nice to get a good Dom in Slammer. i was naked within moments and sucked Him off before getting into the sling. He had a filthy mouth and called me every nasty word in the book. He liked to pinch my nipples and had a look of real fury as He fucked me raw. His Cock was thick but not huge.

He also spit on me a couple of times, i took it graciously. He then bred me like an animal and then told me that He wanted to piss on me and made me get up from the sling and walk into the "wet room." i was getting dressed and He said, "what the fuck are you getting dressed for faggot?" i nodded and grabbed my clothes and walked through the club, naked (just a short walk) into the wet room.

There wasn't anyone else in the room at the time i so i set my clothes into a corner and got into the cold white tub. i then sucked Him off. At this, He started to piss and i drank and let Him piss over my body. He pissed all over my face, hair, body. It was disgusting. i was then worried about not having a towel or being able to keep fucking.

With this, more Men showed up and another one, in just a few moments started to piss me on as well. It was a really hot scene and my twig was raging hard. i was jerking off and if i was stupid, could have blown my load right then. 

Both this Sir and the Top left, with another few Sirs waiting, jerking and watching me. It was slightly humiliating to be sitting in the tub. i didn't want to get up until i dried up a little and i wondered how many more Cocks could i actually take smelling like piss. 

One more Sir came over and fed me His piss and i drank and showered in it. When He left, the room sort of cleared and i got out i did my best to sort of dry up and went into a private bathroom to wash up as much as possible. 

After dressing i was still horned up, but could feel i was getting a little tired. 

i decided to go back to the dark room, as it was the easiest to get lots of Cock without much work. 

And here's where i took the last five Cocks of the night. i took the first one oral and within moments i was being fucked. i got put back onto the bench and one after the other i got fucked. taking another three loads! It's VERY rare to have such luck but it must have been getting late and guys were ready to fuck and blow. 

 When the last guy blew His load, i could feel the cum seeping down my leg. i sat there waiting for a few, maybe another guy would come but in actuality i was getting really exhausted and ready to leave. i walked around a little more and decided to leave. Coming up short of my goal of 20 Cocks but the club was slowing down and i wasn't ready to take more. 

i HATE this about myself. i got home and fell asleep almost immediately. When i woke up yesterday, i was super sore, but the memory was great and i look forward to getting into even better shape so taking more and being able to handle more is easier and easier... until every day is like this night.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Why Chastity is Great for the Faggot's Soul

Over the past few weeks, i've posted a lot about serving Cock. Whether just a quick fuck or serving a Dom. i've gotten away from what the title of this entire blog is - the purpose of this blog.

i consider myself a gay slave. Gay in that, i suck Cock and get fucked by Men. And slave in that i consider my role most naturally as the one who serves Cock. It's very VERY unnatural for me to be on top. To "fuck" another dude. To be aggressive. 

Also, gay may be too soft a word. Faggot is more like it. i'm glad for things like The Advocate, HRC, and Logo - the sort of pushing of gay rights onto the mainstream, removing the sex and instead focusing on the love between humans. That's great and important. If you want to be a dude who falls in love with another dude and then gets married, starts a family. Do that thing - you should have the right to do that and the fact that we don't 100% yet, is mind boggling.

i sometimes think about that. And i'm telling you here, if that guy ever showed up: that guy with boyish good looks, a nice smile, a nice body. Around my age, probably white (sorry fellas), who was nerdy and weird like me. And somehow, still found this blog and me hot... and we connected. i would "date" that guy. See where it goes. i'm by no means against love or whatever happens in life. That's for sure. i'm a realist.

That said, i find it incredibly difficult that that guy actually exists. I've dated good looking guys, and they've been nice but they're never... deviants. They're vanilla washed. And i've known guys who have my head space. They're deviants beyond what i could ever hope for but they don't feel like someone i would date... but someone i would serve.

And i know, i would be hard pressed, sad, and pretty lonely if i spent all my energies trying to find that guy. So, instead, i enjoy life in all that it is. i work a normal job (as much as i hate it), i have friends and social things i attend (which i do enjoy), and i serve Cock... a lot of Cock. There are times when i "go off the rails" and stop serving for a while, believing that i'm just one of the regular guys, but that changes quickly and i quickly find myself between the legs on some Man's Cock. Sucking, serving, and being bred like the animal i want to be.

But all this "normal" talk... or i should say "regular" guy stuff isn't really me. Sure, i like video games and movies, and i follow politics and the news, but at the end of the day, i feel best when i'm just... serving. It's hard to do it for a long period because my mind wanders. i have so many other things on my plate. Work and finances. Student loans. Friends and family. So, when boredom sets in, and it inevitably does when Your sucking a Cock for more than 10-15 minutes, or getting fucked. In this past week, i played for 4-6 hours at a time and i can't say honestly that i was present for it all. 

This is why i seek a true 24/7 situation. A situation where my life TRULY IS in the service a Master. One Cock. One Sir. One agenda. And yes, i may serve groups and get gang banged, i may be used as a performer for pornographic videos. Used to make Him money, but at the end of the day, my waking and closing thoughts every day would be on Him. And His needs. And then that boredom wouldn't matter anymore. When my mind would wander, it would wander through His needs. Did i do everything i can today to make my Master happy. 

Chastity is a great motivator. Chastity is something that i never thought possible. I thought it was painful and just something you would wear for a few hours as a sort of CBT scene, but over the years, i have found it to be a great way to focus the mind. To redirect the sexual energy that's wasted on masturbating to porn and using it to serving and making Men happy.

Until this point, i've only used trapped ball devices, which at the end of the day are ALL escapable, but what they do do, is give you a bit more pause. You have to go through a lot of effort and a bit of an uncomfortable angle to "cheat." When you get a hard on, it's clamped down and can't be used to orgasm... and the whole experience is controlled.

When i'm in chastity i'm hornier. i'm more audacious. i also feel more submissive, more in my role. Over the years, i've actually just been that role without the need of chastity but the device helps me focus. It reminds me, even if i'm hanging with friends or dealing with work or family, that all that is useless. All that is NOT what i'm about. What i'm about is COCK. i can't express that enough.

Knowing a man is cumming while fucking me. Knowing that i have allowed an almost complete stranger, who i have no real connection with to seed his RAW Load inside me, gives me so much fucking pleasure. And when a guy does it instinctually. When He just KNOWS. 

i've said this before but there's just something about a Man TAKING me. i've always wanted to be kidnapped but in a smaller since, i long for being at a sex club and having a Man just unzip His pants and allow me to suck Him. And then when He HOLDS my head. When He just decides, "this is a faggot and He WANTS to swallow" - when He just does it without asking... FUCK.

Nothing is better.

Anyway, Chastity keeps me like that. Chastity alters my hormones so that these feelings are the only feelings i have. 

The problem with Chastity is that it begins to become difficult to do other things. i've found that at times, i've fucked up at work, can't concentrate. Chastity accentuates the duality of being a gay slave in a "regular" world. It makes it difficult to care about paperwork or going to a friend's party.

It's a deadly force that helps me realize my full potential as sub. As slave. As faggot.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Two Raw Fuckings & Breeding (with Video!)

Another day - MORE COCK! 

The streak continues, as i continue to spend an unfortunate month of unemployment into a fully realized sex binge. Yesterday and today were two great Cocks. For very different reasons and in fact, are emblematic of the two types of Sirs i serve:


Yesterday, i drove over to a Sir's house (of whom i played with before) and was asked to wait at his private backyard porch, naked with only chastity device. i undressed and left my clothes in a neat pile. i noticed He left a black spandex hood with only a mouth hole. i put it out without asking and waited on my hands and knees.

After a few minutes, He came out and sat on a chair where i was made to place my face to His crotch.  He immediately fed me a Cialis.

He made me suck on a jock that He made me bring and eventually, He stripped (sometimes by me) His clothes, slowly giving me access to His Cock. After a while, He had me turn an show me my hole, which for the rest of the afternoon, i was required to refer to it as His hole. As in, if i wanted Him to fuck my hole, i would plead with Him to "please Sir, fuck Your hole." Which, in retrospect can sound kind of silly but there's a bit of mind play here that was really hot.

i was told to stay still, keeping my head to the dirty porch ground and (His) hole up. It's in this position that He drip pissed over my body, His piss slowly seeping down the crack of (His) hole and my back. 

i waited as He got a towel and, after He dried me, was then led into His house on a dog's leash. 

Here i sucked and got fucked by Him, where He took the only video of the event:


He was a HEAVY pre-cummer and it wasn't long before my hole was sopping wet, as if i had taken loads. He, like the other guy today, was very quick to cumming in my hole. Not to be a braggart, but my hole can be very... hungry with Cock and their Loads.

This is when He decided to give me a second piss, as the first one, wasn't enough and He liked to smell His piss (His "marking") on me as He fucked me. i was lead into His shower where i kneeled back and took a pretty nice load from the neck down. He wanted to avoid pissing on his leather leash.  Afterwards, He stood me up and had me blown dry with a hair dryer in order to keep the smell and remove the drip. 

i was led back into His bedroom where we fucked more and eventually, He had me take His load orally. After He came, the scene changed dramatically and we pillow talked for a fifteen minutes or so before i left.


Today, i took another Load from a Sir who i had played with many years ago, but for one reason or the other, i hadn't been back. i do remember back when i met Him before, i had had problems with getting fucked by "bigger" dick. In fact, i would occasionally, "tear" and have this very faint anal fissures that would feel like paper cuts and take me out of service for a LEAST a month. Taking a shit would be one of the most painful things imaginably.

Over the years, i've trained my hole well (with increasingly sized dildos for one) and just learning to relax. Like being able to deep throat, it's something that just takes time. Regardless, it was nice to come over to a friendly face, with no pretense or scene - and just serve a Cock and get a hot load... or in this case... three. Or at least, that's how He said. I'll count it as one big one.

He did take two videos, one of which is the "third" load He gave me. 

i enjoy both scenes. Sometimes, it's great to have a really hot, long session with a creative and dominant Master. Other times, it's nice just to get a quick fuck in. In both cases, i was in chastity and there was no concern or time spent with my own twig. It was my holes - and their Cocks.

And that makes me feel both frustrated, horny, and needing more...